What we think affects what we feel, which affects what we do.
The field of psychology has provided significant, research-based evidence that “What we think can strongly influence what we feel, which then strongly influences what we do.” This phenomenon has been observed often during the 40+ years of practice as a clinical psychologist. So, what we “think” can be a compelling, harmful, or positive weapon we utilize to make ourselves happy or unhappy in life. Sadly, most people are not aware that they can control what they choose to think. Yes, realistically, we can only control two things in life. They are 1. What we “think” and, 2. What we “do.”
The following true story is an example of the power of negative thoughts.
Years ago, I treated a 58-year-old man diagnosed with anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and hypochondria. While in treatment, he had a heart attack. When we re-started treatment, he was much more obsessive, very anxious, and often talked about dying. At first, he changed his diet, eating foods he had read about being “heart-friendly.” Then, he started worrying about putting too much stress on his heart and decided to avoid any physical activity. Eventually, he talked and worried so much about having another heart attack. He seldom left the house, chose to eat only food he believed was safe, and used a wheelchair whenever he had to go somewhere. No amount of discussion, logic, or reality offered in therapy ever changed his beliefs about dying.
Ultimately, despite his cardiologist and other doctors’ professional opinions, he thoroughly convinced himself that he would die any day. He spent months in the house, sitting in a chair and waiting for death to come. The end did come nine months later. His doctors were not able to offer any reason or medical explanation for his death. The conclusion seemed clear to me. He convinced himself that he was going to die until he achieved the self-fulfilling prophecy.
So, how do we control and change our negative thoughts?
First, it is essential to recognize that our minds can quickly create negative or positive scenarios. Then, we have to realize that we can challenge and re-direct our thoughts and change those scenarios. We can:
- Challenge the negative thoughts whenever we worry about and predict future possibilities.
- Predict the best possible outcome in our mind when we face something important.
- Select, and talk about only the best memories of our past and forget the adverse incidents.
- Focus on the “now” as much as possible; avoid rehashing the past or catastrophize the future.
- Ask ourselves whenever we are worrying, ” Does worrying about this helps me in any way?”
- Always challenge with logic and factual reality of our fears and gloomy thoughts.
- The truth is that no one can predict the future; there are no crystal balls.
So, keep smiling and, if you have to, fake it until you make it!
Wishing You All Happiness,
Ben Accomando Ph.D.